University of Nigeria

Fun and games

Steve Bedrosian

University of Nigeria is a faux site
promoting the imaginary University of Nigeria, a great place to learn the finer details of "Nigerian 419" scams. You know what I mean -- an-e-mail that arrives one day, like this:

URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED
WITH ABSOLUTE TRUST IN GOD AND DUE RESPECT TO YOU, I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER WHICH I BELIEVE YOU WOULD BE OF GREAT ASSISTANCE TO ME AND WOULD KEEP THE INFORMATION CONFIDENTIAL AND PRIVATE. I AM MICHEAL SANKOH JUNIOR, A SON TO FODAY SANKOH, THE REBEL LEADER IN SIERRA LEONE WARRING FACTIONS. I AM ABSOLUTELY AGAINST THE UNENDING POLITICAL CRISES IN MY COUNTRY THAT HAS RESULTED TO MISSIVE DESTRUCTION OF HUMAN LIVES AND PROPERTY WHICH IS CURRENTLY IN THE WORLD NEWS. ON THIS LAST ASSAULT BY THE FORCES. I ESCAPED TO THE NETHERLAND THROUGH THE HELP OF UNITED NATIONS SOLDIERS WHO ARE THERE ON A PEACE MISSION. ON ARRIVAL IN AMSTERDAM, I WENT DIRECTLY TO THE ASSYLUM CAMP, TO SEEK FOR POLITICAL ASSYLUM, I WAS ACCEPTED, BEFORE THE WAR MY FATHER DEPOSITED THE TOTAL SUM $15.5 MILLION USD IN A REPUTABLE SECURITY COMPANY IN AMSTERDAM, AS FAMILY VALUABLES. TAKE NOTE THAT THE FUNDS WERE DEPOSITED AS FAMILY VALUABLES FOR SAFE KEEPING IN MY NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN. I AM LOOKING FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUST WORTHY PARTNER FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY RATHER THAN THE NETHERLANDS WHO WILL ASSIST ME IN THE MANAGEMENT AND INVESTMENT OF THESE FUNDS IN A VIABLE AND PROFITABLE BUSINESS VENTURES...

Just give them your bank account numbers and lots of other personal information, pay a few unexpected advance fees, wait awhile, and... well, you've lost your bank account numbers, lots of other personal information, and (often) thousands of dollars of fees.

The University of Nigeria site is just as snarky as you'd expect it would be, with a class syllabus, alumni testimonials, admission information, and so on. It appears that Steve has been busy -- University of Nigeria seems to be part of a family of sites by the same guy, including:

• A New Identity, Inc. -- Need a new identity? They'll fix you up. (Not really, but you get the idea.)
• Buy Dehydrated Water, Inc. -- Water that's been dehydrated, leaving, um, ... (You can actually buy some -- $9.95 for 50 gallons -- through what seems to be a legitimate PayPal store, which does make me wonder a bit about all this.)
• Carbon Free Diamonts, Inc. -- Diamonds without all that nasty carbon messing up the quality of the diamonds.
• Grow Your Own Florist, Inc. -- Start with some seeds, add water, and soon you'll have your very own florist.
• Vend-A-Temp -- Source of a vending machine that dispenses temporary workers.
• BuyDHMO.com -- Your best source for dihydrogen monoxide, better known as H₂O. This is probably a joint venture with Buy Dehydrated Water.

These sites aren't promoting anything, other than their creator, a guy named Steve Bedrosian. While they're nicely done, they're not very deep, and once you've seen one, you've sorta gotten the joke behind them all. But they're good for a quick laugh or two, and might be a good source of April Fools jokes for gullible friends.